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Talking with Teenagers – You Have Got To Be Kidding!

It does seem as though we are talking to the wall at times, at least with my kidz!

 In the past you may have heard me refer to adolescence as a fairly scary time for our young people. I have likened it to walking on thin ice on a moonless night. Granted, reminding myself of that doesn’t keep me from trying to pull out what little bit of hair I have left at times, but I try and remind myself that it took me THIS long to learn the shortcuts and safe zones in life, so how can I really expect them to get it after only a fraction of what it took me? No matter how you look at it the teenage years are rough. Here are some thoughts and ideas that may help when it comes to dealing with our young adults. (Remember, (as my son points out frequently), THEY will be picking our retirement homes! Now that is scary!!)

Sometimes teenagers aren’t given enough credit. They’re smart and, with the proper knowledge, they can make informed decisions just like any adult. The trick is having the wisdom to know when your teenager is ready to learn certain lessons.

Talking To Young Adults

It’s easy to forget that you shouldn’t treat teenagers like children. When you eye their every move and talk down to them, you’ll eventually lose their trust. When you allow them to be themselves and, at the same time, nurture them when they need it, they’re more likely to open up to you.

One reason why conversations with teenagers can be so difficult is because it’s challenging to walk that fine line between treating them like an adult, while still exerting some parental control. It’s also tough to watch your children make mistakes that you think you could’ve prevented. The only thing you can really do is give them advice when they are open to it.

These tips may help you strike a good conversation with your teen:

• Make an extra effort to talk to them, but don’t push the issue. It’s normal for a teenager to withdraw from communication from time to time.
• As long as you have no reason to be suspicious of them, you should respect their privacy.
• You can wait to have certain conversations with them until they’re ready, but on the other hand, you don’t want to wait too long.

Talking About Sex               

Sex is a topic that you may naturally feel awkward talking about, no matter who you’re having a conversation with. With your own teen, it can be especially tough to have an open and honest talk.

Chances are they already know a great deal about this topic. However, if they ask you questions, be honest with your answers. It’s actually better for them to be getting information from you. You’ll know that what you’re providing is accurate, and you’ll be building a lasting relationship with your teen that will grow into adulthood.

While there are certainly differing opinions on the subject, try to get your perspective across without being judgmental.

Talking About Drugs

The topic of drugs is another important one. It’s best to be educated early on this topic. Children should be taught to avoid drugs, so it’s certainly a topic you should bring up with your teenagers from time to time.

If you’re involved in your teen’s life and have no reason to believe they’d be involved with drugs, you probably have nothing to worry about. However, if your teen acts withdrawn and you don’t know their friends very well, there might be a problem.

Trust your instincts. If you think something’s up, then strive to be more involved. You may be dealing with a tough situation and, therefore, you should make the extra effort to discuss the issue with your teen.

Trusting Your Teen

It all comes down to the issue of trust. Remember that trust is a two way street. If you maintain a good level of trust with your teen, they’ll feel comfortable having conversations with you. This will hold true even if it’s one of the tougher conversations. Just make sure you remain open to your teen, and they’ll come to you for advice.

Adolescence is a great sport, the whole family gets to play! It can and probably will be an emotional roller coaster for everyone! No matter how rough the ride, it is possible to survive!!

Hang on and enjoy the ride, because we don’t get to have them with us forever!

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